“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho “I wanted to be helpful, kind, and thoughtful; I wanted to be there when people needed me. I didn’t want to let them down or disappoint or displease them. I spent a lot of my time devoted to my self-image as a capable, nice person who could be relied on. My inability to say no had created a great deal of inner turmoil, which had obviously impacted my physical and emotional health. I realized I had to say no to a lot of things and a lot of people in order to heal myself and protect my well-being. Whenever I said yes in a powerless way, I was being inauthentic to myself and the other person. I needed to work out what I liked and disliked, what I wanted and didn’t want, and where exactly my line would be crossed. Saying no doesn’t stop you from being a nice and considerate person. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is say no to someone, including yourself. When you are self-empowered, you know you are enough, and you know you are worthy. You know you don’t need to exhaust yourself doing everything for everyone else in order to be liked and valued.” — KJ Hutchings on The Power of Saying No